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Self-Compassion

Therapist: Jill Poulson

 

There seems to be an ongoing inner message we buy into which gives us the feeling of “not enough” in our Western culture (Brown, 2007). The antidote to this type of shame and of this narrative of I’m not good enough message, is self-compassion. You may ask, why should we be more compassionate with ourselves? Clinical psychologist Christopher K. Germer tells us, “A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life”

If we want positive changes in our lives and relationships, we need to first learn

how to kindly show up for ourselves.

Hug Love Feeling - Free vector graphic on Pixabay

Dr. Kristen Neff, a researcher, and professor explains that self-compassion has three elements:

  1. Self-kindness
  2. Common humanity
  3. Mindfulness

Text Box: Self-kindness: Showing warmth and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate Common humanity: Realizing we are not alone in suffering or feeling personally inadequate. It is part of the shared experience of being human, something we all go through. Mindfulness: Balancing our negative emotions and not suppressing or exaggerating them. Recognizing but not over-identifying with thoughts and feelings requires Mindfulness. (The Gifts of Imperfection, [Center City: Hazelden, 2010] 59-60).

 

 

One of the first steps to find out where YOU are on the self-compassion continuum is to take her simple, quick self-compassion test (you can pause and do this now!) just click on this link: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

 

How did you score? Low, medium, high? Your new awareness is a big first step in knowing how you are doing, and in what areas you might want to improve. One way to start healing, and increase your self-compassion is to talk to someone who genuinely cares, will listen, and will passionately help you navigate your way to find your authentic compassionate self.